Awesomely Modest

Posted by Jae on March 29th, 2007

In her usual douchy fashion, Dirty made a mess again the other night.

We came home and saw that someone cute and furry had been riffling through Danielle’s pursebag; the contents sprawled out like a poisoned kindergarten class. Amongst the deceased were such things as a Neti Pot, toothpaste, a chequebook, a Mach 3 Turbo razor, and various other things that I have no clue what they are.

For a good while we had no clue what she was after in there, until later discovering her mouth and her bed smelled like chocolate. It wasn’t until later that Danielle remembered she had a packet of hot chocolate in there, and it just occurred to me now that I don’t think we ever found the wrapper.

Posted by Jae on March 29th, 2007

I don’t remember much. Someone was drinking from a water cooler in my old bathroom, and I told him it was super old. Probably my birthwater, from my mom going into labour.

Posted by Jae on March 21st, 2007

Danielle and I had a baby girl and I went telling everyone. She had dark hair on her chest, which I said was just like her daddy. She also started trying to speak right away. I forget the name i suggested for her, though I think it started with an ‘M’.

I was then in some stranger’s house. There was a fishtank someone had tried to stear and a newspaper. The person trying to stear it originally went into the back romo for something. I decided to try it myself. I used a sock and strectched it over the tank to cover it up, and noticed that the newspaper mentioned the theft of this tank. I deceded to take the sock off and not take anything, figurind the place was being watched. The original thief and I left, and then Dirty and I ran through a bunch of parks. She was off-leash adn behaved perfectly.

I then fell back into the baby dream, and she had gotten two raised bumps on her cheek overnight, and a few on her belly. All on her left side. We didn’t know what the cause was, but noone seemed too concerned.

Posted by Jae on March 20th, 2007

Justin came over earlier to finish making a DVD for some shitty wedding. Shortly after he started using my computer, Danielle and I left to go out to dinner at a new pizza joint in town. The fact that Justin would only be there for a short while slipped our minds, and we forgot to close off the kitchen. I think it was as we walked up to the front door it suddenly dawned on us.

We hoped like hell it wasn’t the freshly made cornbread.

Opening the door, we saw a box-like thing, which turned out to be a box. A box of old, stale-ass graham crackers, more specifically. We were actually happy Dirty had gotten into food that probably should have been thrown away months ago!

Then we settled down, and noticed crumbs all over the couch where Dirty normally sleeps. We’re less happy about this, but it’s not too bad. We then noticed that over by the other corner, where she was when we came home, she had buried and hidden soggy, dog-slobbery graham cracker between the cushions and under the blanket.

Buried soggy crackers? Dirty, you’re a cunt.

Update: She also left a mess of crumbs on my side of the bed, between the sheets.

Posted by Jae on March 15th, 2007

Danielle and I noticed Kevin Rose sleeping in a tent outside his house with a girlfriend. His house was actually the house at the end of my parent’s street. I took my z-lite sleeping pad and tossed it on the ground near them, laying down. Kevin came o ver and yanked the z-lite, throwing it into his tent. I told him it was amine, and he apologized. He thought I had taken his. They went inside for a bit and came out with bikes to go riding with us. His girl had a pretty crappy bike in comparison to the rest of us. I kept getting loops of trying to find and put on some sunglasses, so we never actually got to riding with them or becoming friends. I was hoping he might have some sort of worthwhile job for me.

I was in some professor’s class, I couldn’t ever remember his name and he had curly brown hair and was a jerk it seemed. I was walking in the hallway looking at some of the work from art students, noticing that the main reason they were bad wasn’t their poor composition, it was their poor subject materiial- which was assigned by John. There was one incredibly good ink drawing of a sortof young female gozer.

Posted by Jae on March 2nd, 2007

Had an old friend, alex over. We were gonna go make some silly video, but I wanted to go into my parents house and let the dog out first. He stayed in the car and I wenti n and played with the dogs for awshile. I then went to the bathrom and somehow managed to pee an the carpet, which took awhile t clean up. Then my father came home and I started talking to him for awhile. It had gotten dark out, and I ran outside to find Alex, who had started walking back home. I caught up with him in the neighbor’s yard.

I was in somehouse, not sure if it was supposied to be one I live in or not. Kevin was there and trying to get me to play some sport. We were in the kitchen and I noticed some strange feelingn near me, like there was a gost. I eventually realized I could switch back and fourth between Lillis and Beals, causing AoE’s and multi-shots to try and determine how many ghosts were actually in the room.