Awesomely Modest

Posted by Jae on June 27th, 2007

Right. About that whole being good about not leaving food out thing…

Dirty’s has been on medication for a UTI for the past week or so. She’s had several accidents inside the apartment and so we’ve been keeping the kitchen door open in the hopes that she’ll pee in there, rather than on the bedroom carpet or living room rug. For a while, she was being really good about the kitchen being open again. I’m told she’s pulled a few things out of the sink, but nothing really worth writing about. Until now, of course.

Dirty hates her pills, and it turns out Danielle and I both have different methods of tricking her into eating them. I hide it in a handful of her kibble, while Danielle smears peanut butter all over it. I was not aware of this, and did not notice that she left the peanut butter on the table for me to use with her pills. Dirty did!

She ate pretty much an entire jar of peanut butter yesterday, and appeared to be stomaching it all pretty well for a while. Not anymore. She has now peanut butter puked in the apartment twice. Once on her bed (that’s good), once on the bedroom carpet (that’s bad).

I’m sure you’re all very disappointed that there are no pictures.

Posted by Jae on June 25th, 2007

Considering we’ve gotten pretty good about getting all food items & containers out of the living room when we’re not home, there hasn’t been anything to post about Dirty getting into. Apparently some time yesterday, Danielle left some red pepper mix (Shichimi Togarashi) on the living room table, which Dirt quickly took and opened. Judging by the fact that there’s hardly any less in it than when she got it, I’d venture a guess to say it was a bit too hot for her. I only wish I could’ve seen her face when she tried it.

Posted by Jae on June 25th, 2007

Jay was coming up to visit me. When he got here, he was posting some gaming coupons up on the wall at the airport. The airport was under construction though and we had to walk through weird tunnels and it looked pretty run down. He kept giving off a fake laugh as he posted them, and people started scrambling around looking for them.

When we got outside to our busses, I hopped on one and sent him a txt wondering where he was. He had just finished peeing by a bush and was on a different bus, so I told him to get the fuck oer to my bus. The bus had been organized by last name, and when he got on and sat in the front, some kid said he liked front-to-front. I’m guessing because normally the bus is empted front-to-back. We switched seats so we could sit together, wondered what the hell was up with that kid and hugged. He said he wasn’t feeling well though. We had soemething plalnned to tdo, but suggested he get some rest in the hopes that he’d feel better for the rest of the visit.

Posted by Jae on June 24th, 2007

I was at some friend’s wedding. Forget who’se. I was sitting down at a long table with some old friends and I had a hat on. I saw my old friends Christine and Mikey from across the street, and I took off the aht. A ucte japnanese girl sat down in one of my friend’s seets and I offered smy lap to her if she gave the seat back to my friend.

I was then at trish’s wedding, which was going really slowly until she was pulled into dancing by her husband. She was wearing a suit and all of the cards just said she was helpful, which I found to be hilariously insulting. A couple people got mixed up in whose sunglasses were whose.

Hhen I was waling around and dancing with some guy carrying a stupidly large boombox. It was the size of a guitar case. He was plaing “Now that we’ve found love” at a moderate volume at cars on the tstreet. There was an 8′ wire fence up between the street and the sidewalk, preusmably to stop rocks sfrom hittng houses, athough I heard one go through someone’s window. Walking back to my house as the guy played that cheesy song, I did stupid dancieng moves. At the end I kicked a bucket of wet cement, thinking it was going to be solid, and got some on my pants.

Posted by Jae on June 18th, 2007

This morning on my half-asleep drive to work, I had the (arguably) good fortune to look in my rear-view mirror at perhaps the perfect time.

I was stopped at a red light, and when I looked up, I saw the man waiting behind me. His head was tipped back and looked like he was screaming, and his right arm & shoulder were moving in an up/down pumping motion.

I can only presume that I caught him at the very intimate moment of finishing his morning drive personal happy time. Typically this is not what you would expect to see when looking behind you.

Not knowing which category to post this under, Heads won 2 out of 3 on a coin toss. Fun it is! Yay guy masturbating in the car behind me!

Posted by Jae on June 15th, 2007

Tym & Steve were over and we were trying to make a new sport.  My idea had something to do with frisbee and pizza.  The pizza didn’t look very good, though.

I told them to hold on for a few minutes so I could to my room and change my pants, since I apparently wet them.  When I finally was dressed again, I went to meet them and Jessica was there saying how much she missed everyone.  The bricks in my bedroom were displaying our IP addresses.

Posted by Jae on June 14th, 2007

I was thinknig it was Robs’ birthday and Iwanted to take a picture of one of my WoW toons congratulating him ubt I could’nt decide wich. I tried using some new web service to send the picture. They turned your computer into a scanner. Somehow their webpage would scan a photo that you p ut down on it.

Posted by Jae on June 4th, 2007

I aws super pised at danielle and din’t want to be around her. It was Winter, so I went out to my car and turned it on and selept in there to get away. She was laying ot the couch with someone as I got dressed and I told her I wasn’t answering the door for the ploice outside, and she’d have to get up. I woke up at one pointand it was ssummertime and I was parked infront of someones ouse., and a car pulling in behind me. I backed out and the car pulled over in te driveway and fell off the bit of a cliff that there was on the edge. I drove down Jay Cook Way o n the way back. It was a sandy , twisty road and apparentyl some old weather guy used to be pretty funny talking about the roit. I went into a big gymnasiaum for something and rather than sittirg with her I went and sat by myself in a bleacher and listened to my ipod. Her sister was nearby and wanted to know how to use youtube from her ipod and I explained that she couldn’t tehere was no wifi signal in the area. Dane cook also tried helping, and when he noticed her typing something he ran over to thesecurity office and told them to turn on tuerminal so he could show everyowe nhat she was typing. It was just “Enough is enough” over and over agin, and the office started chanting it.

I was in some WoW instance and being tested. I had to climb into a room and kill a guy while hanging from a floating plank of wod. Whan the next guy came in, I tried kiling it the same way and couldn’t. It was a little boy vampire. I jmued down and htried hitting it, he kept talking to me. He started peeing on me from his forehead and it was really gross. Ibgrabed the plank above my head and started whackin him with it and he hidn’t mind at all. I was being told how to kill them by the crazy army instructor guy that was leading me through this test, and he said the kid was an indonesian vampire. I woke up right before he told me what that actually meant.

Posted by Jae on June 3rd, 2007

Danielle and emily went to a concert and I showed up a little while later. there was some other guy there with us who went away for a little bit and the girl infront of us said that she’d ask him out if he weren’t so anoying. Apparenttly danielle and emily’s coat s had been lost at one point, but they later found them. Danielle had one of the seucurity people bring out a side table to put our food on, which was a tiny little thing on wheells just barely off the ground. I commented ithat it as a shoebox on wheels.

The person than helped find te shoes also worked for a company that designed secret govennment offices. There as an issue where someone inside his business was sabotacging planns and making it so that stairs could slide down for secret hiding areoas or acces s without a key. I went to check out one of the buildings he worked on. It aws a run down old office building that had been emptied out. I walked around ald looked at a few rooms but couldn’t find anything important. When I was leaving, I knoticed two peopel standing outside the door waiting for somenone to answer it. I looked through the peephole and it looked like a young asian boy in a CHiPs-like poliece uniform, and a caucasian woman that claimed to be his mother. I opened the door asd asked what they wanted, and they were looking to see the governmenth agency located there. I told them I came for the same thing and that there appeared to be nobody around. The asian guy started trailing behind me as we all walked towards their car, and i watched him pulling a tiny gutn out. I turned and pointed it uway and made him drop it behind him. I asked why he has a gun while I started running away, and he said he had a gun but now it was on the ground. I kept running ond pushed closed a door to a house and claimbed up a tree to hide.