{"id":343,"date":"2007-12-24T10:05:20","date_gmt":"2007-12-24T18:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/24\/if-it-were-real-id-have-had-a-heart-attack-then-and-there\/"},"modified":"2009-07-08T15:34:19","modified_gmt":"2009-07-08T23:34:19","slug":"if-it-were-real-id-have-had-a-heart-attack-then-and-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/24\/if-it-were-real-id-have-had-a-heart-attack-then-and-there\/","title":{"rendered":"If it were real, I&#8217;d have had a heart-attack then and there."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was in some winery, they were feeding wine te the cows in order to make it beter.  I walked straight to the end production line where everything wast aste tested by an old man in a bath.  I astarted seeing thingsg from his perspective.  He was eing served wine with a piece of cake, fed to him by an old woman wearing bubble bath leggings.  He ckepet escooping bubles away from her legs, trying to sneak a peak, and trying to hget her to join him in the bath.  Eventually she ran off, not able to stand anymore.  I called over what was apparentyl my girlfriend, seeing if she&#8217;d taxke over, specifically the getting in the bath part.  She was wearing tight olive&#8211;coloured short shorts and thick horizontal striped olive and tan nylons.  At first she was hesitant to get int, but I told her that&#8217;s why the other old lady left.  She got in, taking her top off.  One nipple had verticle and horizontle bars going through it, the other had a cbr.  I asked her why she hadn&#8217;t told me abouth those piercings and she shaid she had.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was in some winery, they were feeding wine te the cows in order to make it beter. I walked straight to the end production line where everything wast aste tested by an old man in a bath. I astarted seeing thingsg from his perspective. He was eing served wine with a piece of cake, &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/24\/if-it-were-real-id-have-had-a-heart-attack-then-and-there\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;If it were real, I&#8217;d have had a heart-attack then and there.&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[15],"tags":[2],"class_list":["post-343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sleep","tag-dreams"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pyyGP-5x","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=343"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1145,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/343\/revisions\/1145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}