{"id":415,"date":"2008-11-14T05:26:36","date_gmt":"2008-11-14T13:26:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/?p=415"},"modified":"2009-07-08T15:31:46","modified_gmt":"2009-07-08T23:31:46","slug":"i-can-honestly-say-thats-never-happened-before","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/2008\/11\/14\/i-can-honestly-say-thats-never-happened-before\/","title":{"rendered":"I can honestly say that&#8217;s never happened before"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>WAS BACK IN MEDFIELD AT THE STREET CORNER AND WE SAW A BOBCAT RUNNING BUY IN THE WOONDS.  I WS JUST NJOYING TH E SIGHT, BTU SOMEONE COMPLAINEND THAT YOU&#8217;RE SUPPOSED TO KILL THEM, JUST LIKE THIS HOT REDHEAADHAD BEEN WORKING WIT.  WHILE I WAS WATCHING FOR THE BOBCAT TO RECTUR SO I COUU THE 911 GUY SUGGESTED THAT I TRICK THE MONKEY INTO FORGETTING IT WANTS ME, SO I HAD SOME MARINES DISTRACT TH HAN ON VETERAN&#8217;S DAY., THEN HAD A ROPE IN A GARAGE PULL ME UP.  I AS BENG CHACED AROUND LIKE A WEIRD PRONO ONLY IT WAS WITH ABULT LTAR I HAD HEARD OF.  I ZIPPED UP THE ROPE TO THETANGEROUS AND SET ITUSEEE WENT TO CONNNECT TO THE TERNET AND SHE HAD STUUPID FILE SELECTEDOWHICH CLEARED LD MAKE A CALL TO ANIMAL CONTROL, I SAW A GORILLA FLEXING AND THEN JUM P OUT AND ATTACK A CAR.  I STARTED DIALING 911, BUT BYTHE TIME I COULD TELL THEM WHERE I WAS, THE MONKEY HAD COME OT MY CAR, BASHED IN THE PASSENGER INODW AND WAS TRYING TO GET ME.  I RAN ALL ARUND TEH 911 GUY SUGGESTED TRICKING IT INTO BEING EDSTRACTED. i had some adult star with me dance around and take her top off as i biked around and into a garage where a rope lifted me to the ceeiling and i hid<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WAS BACK IN MEDFIELD AT THE STREET CORNER AND WE SAW A BOBCAT RUNNING BUY IN THE WOONDS. I WS JUST NJOYING TH E SIGHT, BTU SOMEONE COMPLAINEND THAT YOU&#8217;RE SUPPOSED TO KILL THEM, JUST LIKE THIS HOT REDHEAADHAD BEEN WORKING WIT. WHILE I WAS WATCHING FOR THE BOBCAT TO RECTUR SO I COUU THE &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/2008\/11\/14\/i-can-honestly-say-thats-never-happened-before\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;I can honestly say that&#8217;s never happened before&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[15],"tags":[2],"class_list":["post-415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sleep","tag-dreams"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pyyGP-6H","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/415","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=415"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/415\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1094,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/415\/revisions\/1094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomelymodest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}