I am not a penis, and unfortunately, also not a pop-locker.

I was on TV for some interview, and I weighed a bit more. Not in a good way. In more of an “I look like an actual penis” sort-of way. I don’t know what the interview was about, but they kept showing clips of all my different twitches. It was really fucking annoying and offensive- but at least they pieced the clips together to look like I was possessed by the god of pop-locking.