After coming home the past few days, I’ve been contemplating the idea of making a new category here specifically for the things our dog Dirty gets into while we’re out. Tonight, after Danielle and I got home from doing some more last minute holiday shopping, I’m finally convinced that this category is necessary.
Before I mention what she got into tonight, I think I should run off a few of the things gotten into in the past few days.
From the sink: a plastic cake tote, spring-form cake pan and a soup ladle
From the kitchen counter: an empty frozen pizza box, empty plastic soup container
The bathroom garbage, in all of it’s wonderful bathroom garbagy glory.
Getting back to tonight, we came home to see she had pulled the shopping bag with a box of tampons down, and scattered them across the floor. Fortunately, they were new and apart from scattering them, dirty didn’t use or eat any of them. This was a nice switch from the aforementioned bathroom garbage feast.
At one point, she even ate a bag full of medicine that she normally wouldn’t eat without us yelling at her! It gave her bladder problems for over a month!
I can’t leave this categories first post without bringing up the best/worst/best again thing she has ever done. The Corn Incident.
Two Summers ago, Danielle left 6 ears of corn on the kitchen counter assuming that a dog would have no interest in an ear of corn. There were remnants of the corn everywhere that was not the counter in the entire house. Husks and stringy bits were found rubbed into the carpet, buried into every crevice of the couch, behind doors, in the bathroom, on the stairs. Not only were there bits of corn all over our bed, no, she was so overjoyed with the deliciousness and fun of eating corn on the bed that she lost all control of her bladder! There, in the center of the bed, was a giant oval of piss garnished with bits of corn husk (the bed has since been replaced). Apart from one sole of cob, which she stuffed into the couch for later, Dirty had eaten a half dozen ears of corn in every imaginably enjoyable place in the house. Besides needing a lot of help to clean the mess, I felt that with the amount of effort put into it, Danielle should at least see it before cleaning it. While I waited for her I sat on a stringy, husk-covered, dog slobbery couch watching crappy reception TV. I wish we’d have had the foresight to take pictures of this.
Once we have a digital camera again I’ll be creating an album in my photo gallery for future instances of Dirty getting into shit. If Danielle sees the mess before I do, she can use her cellphone’s camera, since it’s not too bad for what it is.
On a similar note, I’ve added Danielle as an author here. With any luck, she’ll occasionally have something to post.