I am totally an adult.

My gmail account has had some bizarre mixups in the past in that I’ll get emails from places in Australia responding to someone with the same/similar email address as I have, except with a period separating their first and last name.  I’ve always found it entertaining and it doesn’t happen enough that I consider it a nuisance.  Recently I’ve been getting a different kind of bizarre email, though.  From the initial email and the pdf attached to it, I’ve surmised that the gentleman is a University of Arkansas student and a big fan of god.  His emails have been updates on his trip to Haiti to work in a Mission over the summer.

I’ve finally grown tired of his updates, and decided to figure out what was going on.

Ludwig van Jaethoven <xxx@gmail.com> Fri, Jul 9, 2010 at 11:38 AM
To: Jonathan Redacted <xxx@gmail.com>

Who in sam fuck are you, where did your godloving ass get my address and why do you keep sending me shit?

Sincerely,

Your Mom

I chose the polite route.  He decided, however, to be a prick.

Jonathan Redacted <xxx@gmail.com> Fri, Jul 9, 2010 at 12:03 PM
To: Ludwig van Jaethoven <xxx@gmail.com>

You should grow up and probably after the first one sent me an email
asking that. And i would have told you that i have had my ex
girlfriends address wrong. But have a blessed day and i’ll keep you in
my prayers.

Seriously?  You’re going to act all high and prayer…y?  I’ve got something for you to pray for!

Ludwig van Jaethoven <xxx@gmail.com> Fri, Jul 9, 2010 at 12:28 PM
To: Jonathan Redacted <xxx@gmail.com>

Pray for penis.

Penis penis penis penis.

Sincerely,

Penis

That ought to clear everything up.

YOU CAN TYPE HERE