Awesomely Modest

i was bill murray in some movie, as a squirrely quiet guy.  i flew over to the east coast to visit friends and family for a couple days.  when we first landed we found some turtles really cloe to the airport which we put in bags and saved i think.   fro smoe reason the samet thing hapened again, only this time we didn’t see any turtles.  we went out to ddnner and later on my sisster was fighting some guy in the bathroom.  they were practicing for some tournament i think, only my sister wasn’t hitting the guy very hard or anything.  he was beating the crap out of her trying to get her to open up and start really fighting back.  she got him locked down after they fell into a bathtub and eventually she accidentally drowned him in the few inches of water in it.  she brought the body outside carefuly and called one of her friends to help edeal with it.  i had started to carefully help clean up the blood all over the walls, being cautious to not get fingerprints anywhere- unfortunately this was our family bathroom so they pretty much were already everywhere.  my sister removed all the tiles from the wall that had blood on them and i heard my sister discussing what i thought to be me with her friend.  turned out her friend was a cop and she suspected i was jack the ripper.  i left quickly befrone they could matcd tnmy prints to previous cases and hid outside.  i soon heard rustling in the bushes and a distanct helicopter, knowing they’d come for me.  a cop leapt  out of he bush and i was very polite with him, asking him for a chance to run, since thy had gotten all prepared for a chase, hoping to be killed during it.  I also argued that my sister had illed this guy, and then they come for me.  while he was mildly distracted,  i did start running.  he caught the edge of my shoulder with a bullet and i rolled briefly before getting up after he had finished off his rounds.  i ran between bushes and some odlyshaped building and used the structure to try and get away faster, i don’t remember anything else.

some fat guy named louie was hred to kill me.  hehad some very unique toolss for doing the job as well, including finger atttcahments and a mouth opener.  i figured he wasn’t going to be subtle but i wanted to find outhow he was going to kll me, so i went and faced him.  he explained that tere was some crazy habanero pepper flakes she’s used to kill dogs in the past where they’d die of heat exhaustion and hear voices and hallucinate and all that, he was anxious to see it happen to a person.  i managed to get him off my back long enough to try and think up other plans to possibly get him to eat the pepers.  for some reason it involved spraying lighter fluid into the eyes of two people in his room, and then just randomly in the air athim and waiting for it to explode.

I was in a room that was a cross betneen my parents bedroom and the front room, except with a tv and vcr in it.  jenny and schaffer and another guy or two wore hanging out and eventually jenny complained about some noise she hears in the morning which schaffer had a song about.  hem entioned a few lyrics of it and then mentioned another song which we hadn’t heard.  he pulled outsome nda thing for jenny to sign in order to look at the lyrics he had been working on that night.  she sort of scribbled on it not very seriously, and he put some vhs cassette in the vcr with some oldschool movie we had never seen on it.

there was some other guy there that was kind of creepy and i din’t much trust hanging out ith jenny.  apparently he had messed with her old roommate and given eeryone a bad impression.  jenny told me to get up early to make sure he didn’t steal anything.

i went to visit jenny at starbucks.  she wasn’t able to talk much but when she got off she offered to buy me a drink.  i had seen someone get some crazy looking mint drink and asked for that.  noone listened to her when she orderd it o she went behind the counter to make it anyways.  there was same ingredioent she needed that was way high up.  it had almonds in it and i suggested some alternatie that i had to grab myself for her.

then i was at some college at night for some reason.  i was walking across the campus quickl, not paying attention to anyone and then i went into the building by sliding down the stair rail.  it ended up in the cafeteria and i walked to sit and watch what eeryone else was watching.  it was some cheerleaders puting on a practice performance, and it was abysmal.  i ended up laying down on the floor and wonndering what i was doing there.

when i got back up, i was taking a swimming class.   there were afour of us lined up sitting against a wall, with a small bathtubnet to us.  it was jenny, tym, bethanya i.  te instructor cma by and asked 00if jenny needed a form saying she could compete with her knee.  she said she’d sign anything handed to her, but the instructor didn’t have anything handy.  then the instructor asked if fanyone planned on subscribing to some magazine i didn’t catch the name of.  tym raised his hand an i asked what it was and was told it was a magazine to stop making you eat certain foods.  then bethany raised her hand but the teacher walked away.  i askd her what she was goin to ask but she didn’t tell e so i made ajoke about her tits.  then while i was getting anxious i started looking around and discovered a hole in the alll with an entire room filled with water behind it.  there was also a specific rcing pool.  i announced that i had discovered the wormhole, and we all started hopping though to the other side.  everyone took a mask, the little eyes-only mask type goggles.  i saked if she had the kind that covers your nose oo since i can’t ukeep water outo f my nose.  she laughed but said she actually was familiar with that prolem and caled it  a vision problem.  she had me hold my breath a few ties ad said i should be able to maaeg, but gave the option of not wearing my glasses and having my nose covered orgetting water up my nose. somehow i was able to wear glasses with the other goggles?  then i woke up.

I was sentenced to deth for something i did in a dream. except the various ways they tried to kill me werent’ working.ni deicided i was invincible and escaped, but there was a whole world of things to defeat outside the prizosn.  i met up ith others woh were also trying to leazve.  at one point we were in an old abandoned theater, with music and a black & white film playing as someone screamed at us from the projection room.  also it seemed like the movie itself was talking to us.  some of the people i was with left through the fire exit looknig for more peaceful sheter, but were traped by some tnbizarre lizard dog blob thing.n.  i eventually saved them fro it and we got on a little canoe to row to safety.  a woman shot a hole in the front of it though and challenged us to make it to the shore alive without a boat.  i swam oer with another girl, and the others made wings out of tree leaves.  while we were waiting on lond, some bizarre xenomorph esque looking creatures startid coming out of hte water.  we crawled up a large box and tried throwing a giant electric sign into the water to kill them.  it also killed most of the power to the city.  i took a drink out of a vending machine as well, then woke up.