I am totally an adult.

My gmail account has had some bizarre mixups in the past in that I’ll get emails from places in Australia responding to someone with the same/similar email address as I have, except with a period separating their first and last name.  I’ve always found it entertaining and it doesn’t happen enough that I consider it a nuisance.  Recently I’ve been getting a different kind of bizarre email, though.  From the initial email and the pdf attached to it, I’ve surmised that the gentleman is a University of Arkansas student and a big fan of god.  His emails have been updates on his trip to Haiti to work in a Mission over the summer.

I’ve finally grown tired of his updates, and decided to figure out what was going on.

Ludwig van Jaethoven <xxx@gmail.com> Fri, Jul 9, 2010 at 11:38 AM
To: Jonathan Redacted <xxx@gmail.com>

Who in sam fuck are you, where did your godloving ass get my address and why do you keep sending me shit?

Sincerely,

Your Mom

I chose the polite route.  He decided, however, to be a prick.

Jonathan Redacted <xxx@gmail.com> Fri, Jul 9, 2010 at 12:03 PM
To: Ludwig van Jaethoven <xxx@gmail.com>

You should grow up and probably after the first one sent me an email
asking that. And i would have told you that i have had my ex
girlfriends address wrong. But have a blessed day and i’ll keep you in
my prayers.

Seriously?  You’re going to act all high and prayer…y?  I’ve got something for you to pray for!

Ludwig van Jaethoven <xxx@gmail.com> Fri, Jul 9, 2010 at 12:28 PM
To: Jonathan Redacted <xxx@gmail.com>

Pray for penis.

Penis penis penis penis.

Sincerely,

Penis

That ought to clear everything up.

Fancy Dinner.

I went over rob heridans house to watch a movie he made.there were a fe other peoplethat cameover as well, but i think i was the ost interestd in the move.   i had frogotten that he sent me a copy earlier tht i promised to wtach, but i was also in the middle of moving when he sent it so forgot about i.  i oer contacts far the first time in ever and freaked ut momenatrily when i realized i orgot my sunglasses and wouldn’t be able to see.then i turned down the music hie had playing, and accidentally knocked some red wine onto the carpet.  i t came out pretty easily and rob asked if i wanted to help with future moivse

there was also a dream where i was some prodescised hero to an otntire race of people wo had turned to stone.  i had to free them both from being stone, but also free the creautere that killed htem a, which was some giant spider.  wheni  id it, i jumped onto  a nearby oabt and went to the top of the sail, jumping osff and to the cover of rocks.  the people came after me there but i was hiden well enough they didn’t ese me ntil i started attacking by snapping their necks.

Stare into the Sun.

There was some huge party forme my mom aws throwing.  i was sitting at a table holding two pieces of raw chicken and squeezing them like stessballs.  eventually i walked out to go someplace else. i went into a bi open field that was wet from sprinkelers . peter turned them off.  there were huge eceon aves at the edge and some guy was recording the whole thing.  i think we were goig to try puppy training and i gave it a go, but it quickly turned into a dance party where the videotaping guy also had a turntable and new how to recreate daft punk sons.  at one poitn he lifted me in the ahr , he was very tall and everything got super small as he held e as high as he could.  i asked him how to receate the daft punk voices an he flicked the cd a little bit to cause distortion.

then i was on the harbor watching huge fish eat.  there aws a gigantous sunfish i threw a bag of fish out to and watched it eat.  i called jenny over to watch, and then the devil came up from the water.  earlier hwe had been on this as a gimmick, some restaurant said the earth was going to crash into the sun and everyone came there to watch it happen, then when it was called as fake we hung around as it rained . anyways when the devil flat came up there was a gnew guy being the devil there.  he had a monster with one eye blowing bubbles out of his eye.  he was blowing a huge tchain of them and they were overlapping each other to create a giant bubble snake.  each bubbble had an eye in it and they got bigger as they moved further away.  the devil got really angry when we’d pop the train to wtch te entire line slowly pop one after the other.  he then forced us to come upstairs to a shitty apartment and help him out with something.  he had a cart with needles and knives and other things he had made.  he broke into the house and started shooting a guy with all of the stuff as we helped.  once the guy was paralized he started calling for a woman, appparently a lvove he had thought was stolen from him.  she casme up and was a robot that shot freeze rays, we escaped saefly, but there  was some creepy old woman robot thing that was calling my name looking for me.

What did Bill Cosby say?

Haven’t posted a dream in a while, which is a shame because I’ve had a ton of crazy and in-depth ones I was too lazy/tired to get out of bed and type up.  I miss having a crappy little laptop by the bed for that.  Anyways…

When a Bill Cosby bit came on in my car yesterday, I remembered I had dreamt that I was watching one of his specials and he used the term “motherfucker”.  I flipped out and rewound it a few times to make sure I heard correctly, then went and told my parents and brother they had to see it.

Unexpected Guest.

I was in my old bedroom in my parents house and Trent Reznor had ocme ove r to hang out.  we had a bunch of other people over as well but he ened up staying later tahn anyone else.  we started talking about the video he posted teh other day and what i did and didn’t like about it, he seemed to ake everything fairly well and appreciated the criticism.  hi also hocked a huge lugey across the room, which was unexpected.