My brother, two friends and I play World of Warcraft together on Monday nights. We’re all in a guild named RoshuTastic, which was created to profess the love for my brother’s main character, Roshu. Roshu is in an actual raiding guild, however, and not in the Roshu-humping one. Now I shall regale you with the retelling of of this past Monday night.
The four of us were running around in Hillsbrad getting annoyed at the crappy drop-rates for every goddamned quest in the zone. We decided to have at our first instance, Wailing Caverns. Our group consists of a hunter, a warlock, a mage and a fucking pally, so we needed to find a real tank to fill in the last spot. More importaintly, we had to get to WC, find a tank and finish the instance before Heroes came on. Apparently you’re not allowed to TiVo it without condemning yourself to hell or something.
Right as we were about to give up on finding a tank, our prayers were answered. An Orc warrior named Crazyaxeman came to our rescue. His leet tanking skillz were perhaps the least talked about by the rest of us on Ventrillo.
While our tank was busy trying to aggro a wall, the rest of us were actually attempting to kill shit. As the mage and a lover of macros, I was sheeping druids and proclaiming “Voilà ! Sheep-Druid!”
And so it began.
“what does voila mean?”
Not wanting to come off as a sarcastic asshole with my answer, I said it was Portuguese for “pancake”. Judging by the laughter on vent and comments that I deserve to go to hell, I think I accomplished my goal.
Several minutes later, after we had stopped making fun of the guy over vent, we got a druid add and the tank yelled “pankake sheep druid!” That’s right. He actually bought that, and it was all we could do to not pass out laughing about it. I’m pretty sure I heard our warlock bust out his inhaler to prevent death.
It only got worse from there. “i know im going to regret this. why are you all blood elves?” In some miraculous manner, he both knew he’d regret asking and yet remained blatantly ignorant about it at the same time. I was asked to field his question and went with the obvious, claiming that we were all homosexuals. The mere idea that 4 friends wanted to play the game with the brand new race is, of course, absurd. It took a while, but eventually he let out a “LOL”. Our ‘lock then explained that “Roshu” was Portuguese for “gay”. One look at our fucking pally, and you’d be gay too. Outrunner gear is gaytageous. You’ve been warned.
It was nice. He was really quiet and focused on his tanking for a while after that. Eventually he asked if we knew what was even gayer than Blood Elves, getting “Orcs?” as a response from two of us at the same time. Another suggested it was warriors, and while he said it was actually humans, I maintain that our answers were the correct ones. We even offered to let him join RoshuTastic, and he shot us down!
Skip to the next night. My brother is logged in as Roshu and responded to a WTB sweaty girls in trade chat, and then, out of nowhere….this
