I sure hope Customer Support enjoys my emails…

I placed an order with ThinkGeek the other day. For a few years, I’ve had this kickass super dark blue glass that says “geek.” on it. It looks like the glass is black unless you hold it up to a light, and then you can just barely tell it’s actually translucent. I decided I wanted a matching one, and placed the order.

The following is my back and fourth conversation with Customer Service. I thought it was too good not to share, so here you are!

My initial email:


I ordered the blue “geek.” glass (photo of description) and I’m wondering if it’s from a bad batch, if they’re actually being made differently now or what.

I’ve had one glass for a while and decided to get a matching one to go with it. Granted, it looks to have been a few years since I bought the original, but unless I’m holding it inside a disused lavatory with my eyes closed, it doesn’t look black at all. It’s just plain old translucent blue glass. What’s the fun in that, I ask you?! People will longer choke on their beverage when the realization hits them that their glass is actually not black at all, but rather a quite dark, translucent blue!

I’ve attached a photo of the two side-by side, which gives a good idea of how dissimilar they actually are in colour (and print location, though I care about that less). Any information you’re able to provide on this would be very much appreciated, since I really was hoping to have a nice matching set for my new home. Thanks!

Hell, my mom is blacker than this thing.


Their response:

Hi Jae,

We no longer offer the black geek glass on our website. The one you you purchased is listed as the cobalt blue geek glass. If there is anything else we can do to assist you, please don’t hesitate to ask.


<name withheld>
Customer Service Supervisor

This is unacceptable.

Thanks for the response.

The description still shows and describes the glass as black, you might consider changing that. I wouldn’t have ordered it, had I known.

Why did you discontinue the black one? This new one isn’t remotely as cool looking.




Thanks for writing back! Yeah we still describe it as being black because it does have a very black quality to it when not held behind or near a direct light source. When it is you end up getting the lighter blue color. We stopped selling the black glass because that product was discontinued by the manufacturer. We’re not sure why, but they ended up going with the “cobalt” color in their next production run.


<blee blah>
Customer Service Supervisor

That’s an outright lie, then!

I don’t mean to harp on about it, because it’s a bloody glass after all, but you’ve seen it, right? It’s only looking black when I hold it in a disused lavatory with my eyes closed, while said as a joke, is pretty much true. The description for it on the site still reads as if it was the older version that I hoped it was. My memory may be shot, but it looks like the exact same description as it used to be, and this new glass doesn’t fit it at all.

I could tell it was a shining blue before I pulled it out of the box, still wrapped in bubble wrap. The first thing I did after cutting the box open was peel the bubbles off in confusion, check the description, and sent that initial email.

I appreciate the response, I just wish the description would have been accurate before I spent money trying to make this a matching set.


I just wanted a glass as dark as my manhood. Is that so much to ask?

Hi Jae,

Thanks for writing back! Because you’re so passionate about the glass (and we totally love that) we’re going to make it a matching set for you. We’ve sent you another “cobalt” glass just because we don’t want you walking around with one black glass and one glass thats supposed to be black but really never gets there. You’ll get the standard shipping and tracking emails sometime today. If there is anything else we can do to help, don’t hesitate to ask!


<shabba doo!>
Customer Service Supervisor

That still doesn’t fix the deception.

I think it comes as fairly obvious I have nothing going on at work at the moment.

I appreciate your sending out a matching “not remotely black” glass, and will make sure everyone that uses the two is aware that I am King Shit of Fuck Mountain with my “you think it’s black, but it isn’t” glass. I do, however, still feel that the picture and description of the glass are misleading and should be updated. 99% perceived blackness is not fitting for these at all. A percentage doesn’t even enter into it.

As substitution for the old description, I propose the following as a suggestion:
“Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9? Then buy this glass!”

Alternatively, naming it “Norwegian blue” might get people to buy it just because the name is awesome.

Thanks again for your responses, time, consideration, service and any other applicable nouns.


I should probably just go into marketing.


I let our product people know about the color issue. They’re highly concerned and will be working on some updated descriptions soon. We might switch it to 1% black, 99% blue but we’ll have to debate that around the water cooler a little later in the day.


Customer Service Supervisor