Confirmation: I am the best person any Customer Service representative will ever deal with.

For the first time ever, I got started on holiday presents early this year-  well, with Jenny’s presents at least.

“Now I’m gonna bend over, and when I do…

A friend of mine had pointed out a good while back that he found a drawing tablet on Monoprice that had excellent reviews, and pissed all over Wacom and their ass-raping prices.  Seeing as I’ve lost track of how many nights I’ve gone to bed at 1 in the morning, with Jenny still trying to crank out her next page of Zombie Killers, I’ve kept this tablet in the back of my mind, waiting for the perfect time to give her a gift.

Christmas seemed as good as any, especially since this year I was actually going up to Washington with her to visit family.  So, way ahead of anyone else in the world, I purchased a Christmas gift in the middle of October.   It showed up days later, and I wrapped it up and left it out in plain sight in our apartment like the smug bastard I am.

And there it sat, for almost a whole week and a half.

A few days after wrapping it, Jenny was working on her comic and started talking about how much a new tablet would help speed things up.

“Oh?”, I said devoid of emotion, feeling like the world’s ultimate badass.

“Yeah, I think I’m going to ask mom and grammie to help pay for a Cintiq for Christmas.”

I played along, helping her look for prices all while pointing out how it’s expensive and a crappy gift and only a jackass would get anyone a drawing tablet as a gift.  Then I went to bed, grabbing and strangling her pillow as I listened to her toil away on the comic until I passed out.

The next day, while consulting and ranting to my attorney about the issue,  I got a message from Jenny:

“Mom said we can go pick up a Cintiq when she comes down for Thanksgiving!”

My attorney then advised me to get a very fast car with no top, and the cocaine, and to return the gift.

Here’s how I requested my return:

Ordered this as a Christmas gift, thinking I was the best boyfriend in the world and my stupid girlfriend has gone and asked her family for a Cintiq for black Friday/Christmas. I hate my life.  Am I able to get an RMA on this?

After setting up an RMA number and extending his sympathies to my issue, the support dude made sure everything was settled before closing out the session.  Seeing as everything was already wrapped, I figured I’d ask if Monoprice would do anything fancy if I sent the items back still wrapped.

Support Dude: I can send you a Thank you card and have someone from our CS department draw a picture on it for you as a Thank you?
Me: That would kick ass.  I will then rub it in her face because Monoprice is a better girlfriend.
SD: Great. I’ll have some start one up for you. Anything in particular that you would like drawn?
Me: Nope! Go crazy!

And so I did!  I addressed the gift to Monoprice, for being better than my girlfriend and brought it to the post office.  The concept confused the hell out of the woman at the counter, boxing up a gift and then having it sent to a company with an RMA number.  I didn’t think much more of it after that, figuring it would be awesome if Monoprice actually sent a card back, but not getting my hopes up.  Weeks past and nothing showed up past the sad money returned to my credit card.

Then we got home from our holiday trip and found this…..magnificent thing waiting for us after an exhausting 13-hour drive.

No words…

Ultimately, the Cintiq really is way better for her needs and I’m glad she got it.  She’s been working on her first page of the new year as I typed this up, sitting right next to me on the couch, and at a much faster pace.  It’s way better than having her stuck at the confines of her desk all night long.  I still hate her though.

But she is damned cute.